“The most dangerous people in the world are those who believe they know what is best for others” Masson
Therein lays a coaching challenge:
To be Knowledgeable, thoughtful & wise but not the oracle
To be astute & direct but not to dominate & control
To be shrewd & judicious but not to govern & manage
To be deliberate, purposeful & intentional but not to dictate & overshadow
To be truly present, observant & insightful & to possess enough self awareness to manage our presence in the client’s best interests & not be seduced by intellectual vanity
Paul Tillich said similar “The passion for truth is silenced by answers which have the weight of undisputed authority”
So, working with leaders I have often been struck by how executive stress is magnified when the pressures & responsibilities of the role conflict with personal style & values i.e. create an incongruence with our sense of self. It seems that when this happens it can become close to impossible for the busy executive to be aware of and see this with any clarity. The psychodynamic coaching relationship helps the person within the leader become more aware of these types of dynamics.
As a coach this type of observation is made more readily accessible when we resist instincts to direct and make ourselves truly available to hear & experience the other person in the room, enabling resolution through deeper understanding.